My Life Sep 2 at 7-22 EDITED

This individual shares a personal story about facing challenges at work due to vaccination mandates. They express feelings of isolation, betrayal, and frustration as they lose their job and support system. Despite seeking a religious exemption and attempting to navigate the situation, they feel abandoned and unsupported, leading to emotional distress and thoughts of self-harm. The individual emphasizes the unfairness of the situation and the impact on their mental health and well-being. I'm just gonna tell my story on here if it's... AI fuckin' sucks. Okay. So I'm trying to figure out how to, um, write this. What am I gonna do about this? Cause Canada... Life, more than Canada, death. Y'know? Cause obviously it'll give a shit about us. Y'know? Cause they just told me, because I'm two days late, um, and I didn't, didn't put the date in the right order, and I forgot a signature that, and I didn't get it back within the hour that I'm now. That's it, they just closed my thing, and I haven't been paid since. So I haven't had an income since February. Okay? And I haven't had any health benefits since March. I've had no contacts with anybody. Okay? So now I'm just out on my own. Okay? Nobody fucking cares. I can't go to the union because they've already... So I'm, I'm, I'm literally trying to navigate this on my own. Right? It's crazy. This better be recording. Anyways. So I'm trying to figure out how to start this tribunal thing, and, or this kind of life thing. And I think we're gonna start with my story. We're gonna start, y'know what? We knew something was coming, and, um, I, I, I knew, they didn't, I didn't know what. So, I mean, I tried to get vaccinated. Uh, I was thought I was gonna go get vaccinated, but I then, there, I, there was, just trust me, it was, if I had gotten vaccinated, I would have a lot more turmoil than I do right now, probably. And my dad would be rolling over in his grave. And it would not, my mom, it would be not good. Anyways. So, I live my, this is my dirty little secret, alright? It's not something, us un-vaxxers, anti-vaxxers, we're not allowed to talk about it, okay? You guys can talk about it, because you can talk about us, but we're not allowed to talk about it, alright? And we have nothing to talk about with you guys, we don't fucking care. So you guys are just all hung up on us He, he, made sure everybody knew that I was a bad person. I made bad choices, I tried to hurt, I tried to hurt my co-workers by standing beside them. Right? Yeah, it's bullshit, but yeah, that's exactly what he did. And, so, when that mandate came down, it was, uh, it came down on a Friday, and, you know, we all, I couldn't believe it, to be honest with you. There's no way, right? And so I'm like, well, okay, I got a religious exemption, so I went to work on Monday, I'm a little worried, right? But I got an exemption, right? And I applied for it. I didn't have it yet, but I knew I was gonna get it. Well, I didn't know, actually, because they changed the rules all the fucking time. But that would have been way worse for them to do that, actually. If they had fucked that up, I knew I'd apply for it on Monday, and I asked, I went into my supervisor, and I asked Clara, I said, like, you know, what's going on? She's like, I don't know, and I know, I'll tell you. I'm like, okay, because she knows I'm not vaccinated, right? Because she's manager, and nobody else does. So she comes out, she comes out around noon, and she comes out, and she comes into my desk, and she's like, yeah, she's like, so I got the call, what it is. I'm like, what? And she goes, after today, you can't come back in the office in front of my desk, okay? In front of everybody, okay? I mean, they're all hidden. I mean, it's not like they're all staring at me. They're all hidden behind their cubicles. But it's, it's very, I was made to feel ashamed. Like, I was like, I had to pack up. She asked me to work till the end of the day. Yeah, and feel like that. I was like, fuck, I started crying, and I started packing up my box. And I, I went, you know, I looked around, and not one single person made eye contact with me. All those people who used to be my friends, I was now the enemy, because my secret was out. And I walked down that hallway bawling. I was bawling. Not one person talked to me, not one person asked if I was okay, and I sat in the car, and I sat in my car, and they could all see me out the window, my forehead against the steering wheel, and I was bawling, going, what the fuck? Did I just, I'd just gotten, I had to take care of, custody of my grandson was two. And, well, that's why they, and that's why they used to, they were so nice, they used to let me work from home. Right? Because of my grandson, and my, you know what, my Kim Queering, her daughter had borderline personality just like mine, so, you know, when I came to work, when I was a wreck, you know, she was very accommodating and very amicable. And Roxanna, she's not really like me, but she had empathy for me because of the situation I was in. And, uh, after that day, everything changed. After that day, I never heard from any one of those people again. I texted my actual direct super, my, whatever, not my supervisor, but whatever, my manager, I guess, and I told her, I said, yeah, I said, you know, I just got fired, and her response was, you knew what you were doing. She's like, you can't call it fired. Basically, it was your choice, Nicole. Right? You knew what was happening. She literally said that. You knew. You made that choice. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, so then I just, I didn't know what, I thought I was fired. I went home. I went home. And I'm going to look in those. We need to, can you please remind us, remind me when you're here, we need to go and look and see if we can find any evidence of text messages about how I was doing at that time, because all I remember is sitting, all I remember is sitting on that couch, crying. I had my daughter and my son and now my grandson to take care of. I had no job. You know, I was going through a divorce, and it was hard. It was really, but I had no idea what was going on. Nobody talked to me. Right? And I'm like, well, just let me keep working from home then. Like, what's the big deal? No, you can't work from home. No word of I. No, just a plain note, nope. Your supervisor says your job has to be in the office. Later here, I realized too, it has to be up until undue hardship, right? So they said their undue hardship is you're going to kill us, right? I wouldn't say it like that, but you aren't vaccinated. We are, and so we're scared of you and you're a danger, so we can't. That's undue hardship, which is bullshit, right? So if you think about it, instead of letting me work from home, we were already short-staffed. There were just three of us in there, and we had taken turns rotating, right? We took turns rotating working at home, and it was more and more, because of Covid, the mandate was making us get less and less people allowed to be in the office. So eventually, more and more of my job would have been out of the office anyways. That is a very important point. Don't forget that. And, uh, so they actually gave themselves undue hardship, because I'm now working, I'm gone. Now there's two of them. Yeah, sudden work out did it, Kim. She hates working from the office. That's why she wouldn't let me. Because otherwise, I would have been home all day and she would have had to come in the office. That wasn't going to happen. So I sat there, and I waited, and nobody called me, and nobody called me. And oh yeah, what happened? Oh, and then yes, I filed a grievance. You know, there's unions. I'd never been in a union before. This was my dream job. I was going to be taken care of. I was going to go to university. I was halfway through my MBA, and I was looking for the scholarships through the BC Public Service. I was going places. And, uh then, so I went to my union, and they they filed a grievance and I don't know where I was. Uh Yeah, I'm pretty much I'm at home. I don't know how I'm going to support my kids. Uh, nobody I have no idea. I just immediately started looking for another job. Because I need to pay the bills. Then I find out if I get another job, I'm fired. Well then, what the fuck? Like, I can't just sit at home and wait and see, hopefully I get a job. Right? And I kept saying, well, why can't I just work from home? Right? And buddies were like, nope, you can't work from home. And it's because they were scared. They just hate me. Justin Trudeau made everybody hate me. Okay? Right? And so, instead of letting me work from home, and, uh even just while I'm getting my exemption, they're supposed to let me do something. Right? I mean, nope, they let me sit at home with nothing for five months. No EI, because I quit. I put myself on leave without pay. Right? So, yeah. Right after I got my religious exemption, I realized Right after I got my religious exemption, I thought I'd be able to go back to work. I was like, look at me, fuck, I made it. Right? Thank God. Uh, nope. Nope. Now, they're gonna start looking for me a job somewhere else I can work from home. And, uh, what's that, another four months I think I waited. Okay? But right at that moment, there was another breaking point, right fucking there. So there's the first breaking point, when I got kicked to the curb. Second breaking point was I thought I was coming back. I got a religious exemption. Right? They're not gonna make a thief wear a helmet for five months while they wait to see if they're gonna, you know, approve his religious exemption. And they can do it however they want, right? And that's the other thing. You guys can break all the fucking rules. You can do whatever the fuck you want. But I can't. I forgot to I didn't do the right order of the date, and I forgot to sign it. Okay? After I told them I'm having a hard time, I'm fucked up. You need to give me some grace. Nope. Nothing. No phone call, nothing. Well, even if it was a phone call, I wouldn't answer it because I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't sit in here, and I sit in here, my feet are swollen, my legs are swollen because I don't fucking get up. I sit here and I fucking fight. That's all I do. So, when that happened, when I got my religious exemption and they still didn't let me go to work, I wanted to kill myself. I almost did. I came pretty fucking close. I did. My psychiatrist and my mom saved me. I was not very good after that. It took me a long time to get better. Well, I didn't get better. I'm not better. But I was gonna, right? So they got me a job at the liquor and cannabis regulation brand, so I'm like, oh, okay, right. Let's try that again, right? Cool. I love working there, man. The people are cool. Everything about that place is amazing. I was like, okay. Everything happens for a reason. God just didn't want me at the PGT. Now I'm with these, and they're all younger than me, and they're all just supportive, and it's just, it was amazing. And I thrive, too. I started taking courses again, and I started, you know, I joined the equity and diversity committee right off the bat. I was there for opening. I don't even think I went, though, because I was already so fucked up. The health and wellness committee. I joined the project management community of practice, which is all over BC. Yeah, I think. But, I mean, I was doing good. And then all of a sudden, I decided to ask my Kelly Hutchins, and I'm like, Kelly, what is going on? Like, it's three years, man. It's like, come on. Like, this is not right. Like, this is not right to make me suffer like this. You're supposed to be helping me. And that was my email, and he replies in a casual email, and he says, well, actually, Nicole, now that this is behind us, I've decided to dismiss your case without merit. Oh, what? I thought my fucking, I thought it was an arbitration. Last thing you guys told me, like, two years ago, is it's a full arbitration. And now you just dismissed it because it's behind us? Well, it's not fucking behind me. It's still not fucking behind me. Fuck you, Kelly Hutchinson. Like, honest to God, you know what? And I tried to make you see, and I tried to make you understand how I felt, and I fucking laid it out on there, and you were just like, not my problem. That's your choice. It's exactly what you did. So then I went downhill again. And that's when I stopped trying. That's when I got sick like this. You know what? There's no point in trying. You guys just break the rules and do whatever you want. You are not behind me. I do not feel safe. You are not going to help me. All you do is hurt me. That's it. Not one of you has made choices to actually help me. And Kelly Hutchinson, if you had actually read my grievance and actually tried to help me, you would realize it has to do about human rights. I just wanted to be accommodated and work at home, man. That's all I wanted. You let them hurt me so bad because you didn't give a fuck. You didn't talk to me. You didn't talk to them. Can you work at home? Nope. When you're in the office, okay, boom, I'm gone. Fuck you. So yeah, I don't trust anybody. And so he did that, and that's how segregated I was. Here I am, I'm sitting in Kelowna. My whole team is in Victoria, you know, meeting at the water cooler, having coffee, you know, having smorgasbord, you know, everybody brings it, and I'm watching on a fucking TV. Nobody knows me. I was bubbly. I was great. Everybody liked me, okay? But now I'm just a fucking face on the fucking monitor. And I started not to care, and they did notice it. That's how great they were, okay? Vanessa, she came, she took me aside. Point, Nicole, don't forget to look at what Vanessa said. And she took me aside and she could tell, because I did start out all good, and I did tell her how hard it was. So they knew right then and there, too. Okay, it's in my file, Kelly. In my file. I told you over and over how bad I'm doing. I need help, right? Oh, I forgot. Go back to the me being sick, right, almost killing myself. My psychiatrist is so worried about me. She asked me to go on stiff, and you guys said no. Not you guys. You guys said no the same day because I was on leave without pay. Without even thinking about me whatsoever, okay? You just want me. I'm a bad guy. I am the unvaxxed. I am the enemy. And I always felt like that. I had to do that. Big fucking secret. So I sat here behind my monitor and kept my mouth shut when everybody talked about those people. I don't even remember why. I don't even remember why. It became a big blur. It did. I stopped. I just stopped caring. I just, I couldn't, suddenly I couldn't go on the, I couldn't talk to people on the phone anymore. I couldn't focus. I couldn't multitask. I was so good. You ask them. You ask them. I'll show you a picture. I had one giant monitor, two big ones on the side and my laptop. And I was like so proud of myself. I said, that's because I'm a worker. And I could just swing around and I was, I could multitask like a son of a fucking bitch. And you know what? I was so good and I was so good with people. I could talk on the phone. And now I just sit in my fucking room. I don't leave and I don't talk on the phone and I don't talk to my friends and I don't go for dinner and I don't play sports. I just sit here and I fight. I don't leave my fucking ankles. I don't have ankles. It was so small and I just sit here and I can't stop because what you did was wrong. No, you can in life. Okay. You know what? You're supposed to help me too. Right? You're supposed to help me. You're supposed to be there for me. That's right. So I'm like okay. I need some help. I need help. And I'm like and now you have done the exact fucking thing that put me here in the goddamn fucking first place. You put me on leave without pay and you've left me here for five, six months. Don't talk to me. You just send me things to sign and expect me. They're so confusing. Okay? I tried to put your freaking forms on AI and even AI just keeps getting it wrong because of the way you worded it. I'm like fuck you. Seriously. No, I have nobody. And I don't like talking on the phone. I don't. Louise came there twice and she said you need to do this and then she's gone. No, I've got nobody. I can't call my union because they're the ones who fucking put me here. At least I knew I was gonna be okay because I could just get away from you all. I could go on disability. I could just stop and heal. Oh no. The first thing you guys fucking do is because I read the thing wrong which you, I will put it in this letter because Nicole don't forget to put it in the letter because it's so confusing. AI keeps getting it wrong. Right? And all I read was you have to pay you have to pay up front $600 or something and I was like I just stopped reading. Right? Because it has you have to. That's what it says. And I'm like I don't have that money. I don't have a job. Now I have to pay my own benefits? Like what the fuck? And I wrote you guys. I wrote you and I'm like you guys I can't afford that so hopefully nothing happens to me. Not one of you not one of you texted back to be like no no you were just like yeah fuck okay but one of you gave a shit because I'm unvaccinated. It's my choice. I'm telling you if this was a young girl who was vaccinated and just having a hard time you would not be treated. Somebody would have called her. So the last five or six months I've had no I've had no money. I've had no benefits. I can't get the help I need. I can't talk to anybody. I can't fucking get my teeth clean. I sit here all fucking day sometimes all night and my back hurts. My legs hurt. Can't go get help. God either. If I do kill myself and I think about it daily by the way because what's the fucking point? None of you are ever gonna help me. You just want me to fucking crawl into a hole and let it go. But I'm telling you right now I'd rather die. I would rather die. I'm gonna fight you till I die. I will. Because what you're doing is so wrong. You would never do this to a normal person. You would never treat them like this. You would never let them suffer at home all by themselves. I'm sitting here all I'm doing is constantly trying to figure out what your next move is. The next lie you're gonna give me. All of you the fucking BCGEU their deadline's extended even the OIPC or whatever. Every single one of you. I don't even have an FYI back from the fucking BC Public Service. They just forgot about it. And I am so fucked up. It's so hard to try and fight you guys. It's so hard to try and fight you. Because I can't concentrate. So it takes me so long to sit this here all fucking day. It's like, ew, I have like 500 fucking tabs open. My life is ruined. Everybody's so mad at me. I won't stop. I'd rather die. So if I do die, this is on you. I swear to God. My poor family. I've sat here for fucking three years. And all comes right back to where we started, right? Because I am one of those people. Because I didn't I asked for help. I told you. You know my symptoms. You've read all my stuff. I've asked you for help. I didn't do my date wrong and sign a fucking form. You didn't send the wrong form. And I'm one of those infamous trying to send help. My mom, she's getting dementia so bad. So I come back and I'm fucked. I fucking hate you. Thank you. I fucking hate you. I don't hate everybody except for the people at the Alzheimer's. They were so good to me. I mean Garth, all of them, Garth, Brianna, you know, I'm not there. They did call to see how I was doing, right? But nobody else knows, right? I'm just on vacation. You know, even I was bittersweet. Because your fucking accommodation made things worse. So fuck you. It made it way worse. I'm already way on the outside and now you stuck me way somewhere else. I can't tell anybody. They're like, why are you so lucky to get to work from home? I'm like, dude, I don't get to... I'll never forget it when I told Nick. Why are you so lucky to get to work from home? And I'm like, yeah, I know. You guys are having a smorgasbord and playing games at the boardroom table and I'm watching you. Not that great, man. Not my choice. That wasn't my fucking choice. And it's not... And it wasn't my fucking choice. Fuck you for keeping saying that. I couldn't. Anyways. I might just try... I might just send this to you. Because you know what? Fuck you. I don't fucking care. I'm so tired of fighting you. So tired of fighting all of you. That's all I do. I have nobody to help me. I can't afford a lawyer. I can't afford a lawyer on the benefits. And when I realized the benefits I tried to... I'm like, I want to go to the doctor. Right? To get help. And it's like I don't have benefits. Like, what? Fuck. I thought, when you read it, wait till you read it. I just thought it was like... That's why I said, hopefully nothing helps me. Because it said extended help. And you guys knew. I told you already. I can't reach. I can't hold it. Fuck you. Really, fuck you.