Tyler and Darren

Live from Louisiana, host Darren Bayley chats with Tyler Easterly. Despite being born in LA, Tyler grew up in Florida, lacking the local "yat" accent. They discuss how regional diversity shapes speech patterns. The conversation shifts to personal growth: Tyler shares insights on critical thinking and observing body language to connect deeply. He recounts lessons from mentors about working smarter, not harder, emphasizing humility and curiosity as keys to acquiring wisdom. Ultimately, Tyler advocates for stepping into others' perspectives and maintaining an inquisitive mindset to accelerate success and understanding in both business and life. It's comfortable in here. It is. Very comfortable. Well, we're rolling live here at Legacy Studios in Mandeville, Louisiana, of all places. And with me, I have the real deal. This is the real Louisiana guy with me right now. So get ready, we have Tyler Easterly. That's right. I'm on the air, shoot. Cut, cut, cut, cut. Yeah, take that back. Edit it. No, it's live. I'm gonna steal the mic back. He's having way too much fun with that. Oh my gosh. That's good stuff right there. So, that's cool. But this is exciting, Daryl. Yeah. I like this. Tyler, show us that accent real quick. So my accent, actually, I'm blessed. I was born in Louisiana, but I moved to Florida when I was a little kid. So growing up in Florida, you really don't get that Louisiana yat. So this is fun, actually. This is like really fun. Almost killed myself getting reseated then for a second. So you don't really have that Louisiana accent, do you? Yeah, so I was really, you know, every time I go out of town and I do a convention or a show, people always ask me, man, you don't sound like you're from Louisiana. I said, well, I was born in Louisiana, but I grew up in Florida, so I really didn't get that Louisiana boy accent. So it's kind of a blessing. The accent's such a beautiful thing, though. I had my blood drawn yesterday, and there was this girl doing it, and she was from, wow, she was speaking like this, and I was like, wow, you've got to be from Alabama. Actually, I said, oh, sorry, let me say that properly, from Alabama. Anyway, she said, I'm from Sun, Louisiana. And I was like, Sun, Louisiana? That is an incredible accent. That's only just down the road. Yeah. How does that happen over here that the accent gets so strong? I think it's so diverse because so many different people live in rural areas, they live in big cities, different accents and different dialogues are in different parts of Louisiana with Cajun and Acadian and French. And, you know, it's like when I get around some of my Cajun friends, they're like, yeah, we're going down to the bayou today, we're going to get some alligator. There it is. We're going to boil it up. You know, so they talk with that Cajun accent. And, you know, it's really fun to be around those guys because, you know, sometimes they just say off-the-wall things. And, you know, it's really part of the Louisiana culture. But, you know, I like my speaking voice that I developed in Florida. You know, so I think it's a little more mellow. It's awesome. So we had no intention to do a recording, and what the heck, we may not even use this for anything. Yeah. But there's something telling me there's something really good's about to happen. I don't know why, but I always feel that way when I'm around you, actually. Tyler is one of the only people I know that's actually shorter than me, but he's not short in his brain power. He's short in stature, but he's actually quite large in his presence. And we've just come from a small group Bible study. And every time Tyler really speaks, there's something always good that comes out of it, something that kind of lasts a little longer than some of the things other people say. Would you agree with that? I think that when I speak in maybe a spiritual setting or intimate setting or even a business setting, I'm a very critical thinker. I like to think outside the box a lot, and I like to get people into a creative, critical thinking mindset when I speak. So sometimes I actually ask questions in an answer as well. So I think that that gets people to be like, let me meditate on what that person just said. Let me think about that. And then see how it applies to my life. I'm very intentional in those types of settings because I'm gauging the room and the conversation that's going on and trying to understand not only just what's going on from their words, but by their body language, by the things that they're saying, and pick up on those signals and see what's really going on in the room. And so that you can actually articulate what you need to say in that moment to maybe inspire or uplift or be impactful when you're speaking, you know, whether it's, you know, just to a friend or maybe even it might be lighthearted or something like a joke, you know, but the joke might have something intentional in there, you know, so. A lot of people get their wisdom from other people. It's like, I remember one day I was at home and I'm like, hey, Dad, do you mind if I put on your shoes? I got to go outside. And we happen to be the same size. So sure enough, I put them on. I loved them and I now own them, right? They're my shoes. So I'm now walking, if you like, in someone else's shoes in a sense and picking up on their attributes. Whose attributes do you think you picked up on? Hmm, that's a tough question. I've actually never really thought about that, to be honest. Really? There's certain business leaders, business books and things that have inspired me, certain presidents even. There's a lot of people that I've learned. Being around entrepreneurs, actually, I can say personal men that I've had a personal relationship with. And these are high net worth entrepreneurs that have been through literally hellfire. And it's just these small little subtle things when you're in a casual conversation with them. I was with a business leader one day and he said, you know, son, sometimes we limit ourselves to a geographical area in business. And so many people are strangled and restrained by just their geographical area that they're trying to reach. And this person, you know, was struggling in their business and then they reached out and they're reaching in the nation and they just got huge contracts and were super successful overnight by just doing that one extra step. And so it's like those little bits of nuggets of wisdom from certain people. And I remember when I was a young 20-year-old kid and, you know, I was working for a dealership, you know, subcontracted to do all the detailing work for the boat dealership. And, you know, I was bragging about how many hours I worked. I was like, I worked 120 hours this week. And the owner, he laughed at me. And I highly respected this man because he was a, you know, very strong business leader. And he said, I worked a third of what you've worked. He says, you know, you and my son, y'all brag about how much you work or how long you work. He says, I worked a third of what you worked and made 10 times more money than you. And a light bulb went off, you know. So it's like work smarter, not harder. Right. You know, so I think interacting with certain business people in a personal setting and then also great men who have done phenomenal things that have changed the course of history. A lot of those people inspire me, you know. So and you pick up on their wisdom by reading their books or listening to them speak or listen to how they interact or answer questions in an interview, you know. So I like all that aspect of, you know, business leaders or maybe they're not even a business leader. They could be an actor. They could be, you know, just a regular Joe, but they just have something different. But you have to be open-minded, you know, because you know what you know, but you don't know what other people know. So in being humble to receive wisdom, because wisdom ultimately comes from God, you know, whether people want to admit that or not, you know, he's the one that puts wisdom in men's minds. Right. But yeah, so I think that's a long-winded answer, but. It was quite long. I'm not going to lie. We're not going to put a timer on it, though. Get used to it. But I think, you know, gaining wisdom is one thing, but you have to have a catch net, and that is a desire to acquire wisdom to begin with. And it's funny how we're all made up just a little bit different. But for those people that are listening to you speak right now, and they're like, man, I just feel like Tyler's a little bit like me. I can sense I'm a little bit like him. What would you say to that person, not in terms of the lessons you've learned, what has gotten you ahead quickest? What's the one thing or the couple of things where you've managed to trampoline forward in life quicker than most? Hmm, that's another question I would have never thought would be a question to answer. I think being, going back to the open-mindedness, being able to take yourself out of your own perspective and put yourself in the situation, into maybe another man's shoes, like you were just talking about, put yourself in that man's shoes or that, you know, somebody maybe you're negotiating with or doing business with or something like that, and trying to understand why is this person the way that they are, you know, and asking those types of questions and being very observational. You know, children, they're very inquisitive. I think. Ooh, that's good. I think a lot of things come out of being inquisitive and just being curious and always asking questions. You know, so I think that's where. I fast forward a lot is I'm a critical thinker and at least I like to believe that I am. You know, sometimes we we view ourself differently than others. But I really do. I like I like to meditate on things of, you know, why things work the way that they work and how they operate and even not just things but people, you know, and and really understanding the psychology of of human behavior and why some people are very super successful monetarily, some people are successful in raising families. And so there's different forms of success and those types of things. But being able to look at circumstances and situations and take a learning lesson from maybe a a shortcoming or failure or somebody else's shortcomings or failures. I've learned a lot from what not to do from my father in business. I learned a lot from what my grandfather did in business. So those things and and they're just little subtle things. They're not these huge things that people would think like, oh wow, this is the golden ticket of life. It's just little nuggets of wisdom. You know, it's like the word talks about wisdom's crying out in the streets. There there's always wisdom there. Right. So being able to be very observant and inquisitive and ask questions. That's good. And then and then that can get you into research. Ask your question. Talking about asking questions. Mm-hmm. So as we go through life, sometimes we pick things up we should never have gotten a hold of. In fact, that's the whole concept of being a child to begin with, is you're really picking up on character traits, skills, and things that make sense to you as a child and you're developing yourself as a kid whether whether you know it or not. And eventually you turn out this way. I don't know about you, but for me, there was a stage in my life right about 45 years old where I was like, I think I've picked up all these character traits I didn't really need and they're not doing a very good job of presenting Darren in the best way that he could be presented. And also that they were in some way cursing me in a sense to become someone that was never really supposed to be. If you were listening to this and you're like, man, I I'm also in a position where I feel like I need a big life change, how would you go about undoing some of the things you've learned? Oh, that's a good question because personally, when I was a child, I I, you know, developed a lot of anger and frustration through school, through my home situation, and developed a lot of bad habits that carried into me becoming a business leader or even a Christian, you know, being frustrated or angry about circumstances or things like that. And um, there's actually a book about habit, you know, and how you store habits. And sometimes you do things unintentionally that they're just programmed in you from from a child or from when you were a child. And, you know, so you can't you can't get rid of those bad habits, you have to replace them with new habits. For me, I used to I used to be a chain smoker actually for a long time. And so I read this book, it was called The Power of Habit. Um, I like to read and listen to a lot of audiobooks, whether business related, uh spiritual, the Bible, all that kind of stuff. So what I picked up from that book the the most was that you can develop these habits and then after certain periods of time, I think it's 18 months to a year, that that habit actually becomes a personality trait. So some of those personality traits you take all the way through life and you don't realize it because you're not conscious of it. And that's what I was talking about earlier, being able to step outside yourself and view yourself and view how you act and why you act the way that you act or your temperaments or your triggers to lash out in anger or frustration. You have to learn to replace those things with positive things. So it it necessarily could be something as simple as um using filler words, uh and and and you know, those types of things. It's it's just about breaking those types of habits and I think it's important that, you know, you continually work on yourself and evolve so you can go through life not struggling with the same bad habits you have. That's good. What do you think about this? Have you ever heard of the word blindsided? Yes. Like that that refers specifically to me being blindsided about something that I do, right? That's me. I'm blindsided. Probably about something that I do that I probably shouldn't be doing. No one ever says, oh, you were blindsided and they mean something good about it. No, you were literally you went down the wrong path somewhere. So mentors come to mind. People that can speak into your life, people that can be honest with you, people who can reflect the things that you're doing and share them back in a way that makes sense to help you uh grow your life in a different direction. What do you think about mentorship? How important is that do you think for the younger generation? Oh, I think that is the most vital thing that the younger generation needs is uh number one, they need a good father figure. You know, whether whether it's not just a mentor for business or a certain aspect of their life, it could just be a father figure into somebody's life to where that person can see the potential in a young person's life and say, this person is so gifted and they don't even realize how gifted they are at at whatever it is. It's that mentor's job or father figure's job to draw that out of those younger people to impact their lives so they can be the best person that that they can be. And they can have all the or they could be equipped with the right tools to go on through life when life gets hard or difficult. And they can lean into that mentor or person that's, you know, that father figure into their life to say, hey, what do you think about this? This is what I'm dealing with, this is what I'm going through. You know my personality traits, you know, how should I act, how should I interact in this situation? You know, and it's it's being able to rely on those types of people to go and reach out to them, but also it's the mentor's job to guide them and direct them in the right way. Not that they're giving them the answer always, but it's just to maybe say, hey, maybe you should have worded that this way. Maybe it's just a little bit of advice, you know, to for them to change or to to see it in another perspective. Finding a mentor is hard. It's very difficult. Not because they're not out there. I believe it's because the challenge starts in the person who's looking. They've probably been let down in the past. They probably haven't learned to rely on someone else to play that role. And then maybe someone that they have relied on has let them down by not showing up on a regular basis. All of a sudden, out of the blue, they disappear. So how do we help people who really need mentorship but have been affected by the past of a of a hurt or something like that relationally? You know, and this is tough for a lot of men, especially businessmen or um high net worth men or affluent men, that being vulnerable with that younger man or, you know, maybe you're female and you want to have that avenue to speak into another woman's life. Um doesn't matter whatever aspect you're in in your life or whatever, you know, person, but it I think that that the most important thing is for the mentor to understand like, hey, this this person is going through a difficult time and I can help them. You know, I can be there for them. I think too, for for me personally, you know, my mentor was Jesus. I mean, I looked for a mentor for so long and I longed for a man to just take me and say, hey Tyler, do it this way. And and direct me and guide me. And um unfortunately I didn't have that with my father and my grandfather, which they were very influential people in my life when I was younger. But my father passed away in a house fire and my grandfather lived in another state when I lived in Florida. So it wasn't until I was older I really had my grandfather there to kind of mentor me a little bit, you know, towards the end of his life. But for a long time I was always searching for somebody to mentor me and guide me and direct me. And and I think that's another reason that I actually started writing my book. And it's it's to help young men uh get to where they want to be in life, you know, and be able to be a mentor to to the younger generation. I think that's really my heart in being a business leader. It's not about me, it's not about making more money. It it it's never has been for me. It's it's about being impactful and inspiring other men or even other human beings into doing something great with their life in general. Yeah, it's difficult to define with words the deepest of our desires. And it's like when you say you want to write a book or you want to help others because of X, Y, and Z, that those words can never define really why. There's something built up on the inside of us that's so strong and it's inside of us and it's propelling us forward and there's no words in the dictionary that can just explain what the source really is. What's the source for you? Oh, I think it's something that has just been pre-wired in me since I was a child. I don't remember this, but my mother told me a story that um some older kid was kicking sand on my sister on the beach and she said I might have my sister was probably like, you know, three or four. I was like five or six and it was a older kid, maybe nine or ten. And I went over there and pushed him over and I was like, don't kick sand. My sister. So it was, it's always been wired into me to be a protector. What is a father? A father is a protector. A father, a true father, somebody who's supposed to guide you and protect you through life and, you know, and raise you up in the right way. You know, going back to faith, you know, the Bible says direct your children in the right path and then when they're older they will not depart from them. So I think that has been instinctively built into my DNA. I even tell my wife all the time, I'm at a trade show or I'm on the road or somebody's got a business problem and they come to me and I can't help but help them. And sometimes I even interject myself into a situation where, you know, maybe I shouldn't, but the people actually are appreciative that I did. And it's like, I can't help to not help people. I think it comes from a gift that God gave me. You know, because we're all given gifts. You know, some people can sing. You know, I can't, I have no ability to. I'll cut the mic. Yeah, if you start that, I'm gonna cut, I'm cutting it, man. I'm cutting the mic. So, so, you know, I don't have that gift or ability to be very musical. But I think that, you know, we excel in our gifts and things that have been given us and have just been put in our DNA. And every time somebody hurts me or they take my advice for granted or whatever it is, I get so frustrated and so upset and I tell my wife, I said, I'm never helping anybody again. I'm not helping them out anymore. I'm done helping people. They always screw me over. They don't listen to my advice or they take my advice and then they go off and do their own thing or whatever it is. And then I catch myself helping somebody 10 minutes later at another show. You know, so it's just, I longed for that for so long personally, for somebody to help and guide me. Because I had to figure so much stuff out as an entrepreneur and even as a Christian and as a husband and as a father. You have to figure all these things out. But, you know, it's so much better, you know, now that I'm older in life and I have a business group and, you know, a Bible study that we go to and it's really great to get other men's perspective and to, you know, help each other grow. You know, iron sharpens iron as another brother sharpens another brother. So, you know, those things are so important, I think, to me personally. I didn't have the opportunity to have somebody in my life to guide me and direct me. And so it's so ingrained in me to where I want to help a younger generation of maybe entrepreneurs, business leaders, maybe it has to be with a spiritual aspect or maybe it's just a gift that they have and help them excel into their gift. That's truly my heart and why I like to do the things that I'm doing to come do this podcast with you. I love it. You know, I just, you know, want people to be inspired to do something great with their life. You know, because everybody's, you know, has the ability, but is the desire there? And some people might not see in themselves what other people see, how gifted they are and how talented they are. You know, there's a lot of incredible athletes that, you know, they had mentors and they excelled and they became world champions. You know, so I think that's very important. So you ready? Yeah. Oh yeah. This is the off-mic segment. Although we're still rolling the mics. No, that's fine. But no, this is the off-mic segment. Okay. You know, we've tiptoed around a lot of subjects here. We've had a great, we've had a nice little discussion. It's been fun. We've probably got 50 hits on the, you know, on YouTube by now. We're like crushing it. But the off-mic segment allows us to say anything we want about any subject we want. But I want to give you some guidelines. Okay. I'm gonna give you 60 seconds in each of these sections. All right. So you ready? Oh yeah. This is the off-mic segment. So you've got 30 more years to live. You've got 60 seconds to tell me right now. Hey Darren, before I go, there's something I needed to share. I would say never hold an offense to any man. I think that even if somebody hurts you or screws you over, you know, and I've had a lot of that as a business person or even just a family man, I think the most important thing is for us to always have forgiveness in our heart and allow room for each man's fault. I think that's one of the most vital aspects of living in this world with people. Dealing with hard situations or maybe somebody said something that offends you, maybe they screwed you over in a business deal, maybe it was a family member that, you know, didn't like the way that you said something and it caused a fight and, you know, never hold an offense and never allow somebody to live rent-free in your head. No matter what they do or what they say, you know, how horrible it could be. And always be the one who's willing to say you're sorry in any situation. Whether you were wrong or not, I think those things are probably the most impactful things to take with you in life. Because people are gonna offend you. People are gonna say things, you know, off-kilter or things that are, you know, or do things just out of human nature. And always have compassion for those people. That's good. You know, that's 60 seconds. You know that, right? That's fine. That was pretty intense. I just met this guy at a gas station. I'm probably gonna bump into him again because he's got 30 more years and so do I. I like his advice. That's really good. All right, your next 60-second question is this. You've got three years, man. In fact, you've just been to a doctor and he's given you some rather grave news. But we bump into each other for the first time at the gas station and you're like, oh, before I go. And I have no idea, by the way, you've been given three years to live. Only you know that. And you've just bumped into me at the gas station. He's probably paid for my gas because he's just a nice guy, really. And you're like, oh, before I go, there's something I just wanted to say. 60 seconds starts. So if I bumped into a random person and I just had to say something to him. You may never see me again. What's on your heart? Three years to live. I'd probably tell him my testimony. I would probably tell him my testimony. You know, you only have three years left in this life. Okay, well, you can't take all your achievements with you. Can't take any of them with you. The only thing that's gonna last is what you did for God in this world. So I think telling that person a testimony and telling them why God saved your life. You know, it's because we don't receive salvation through our works or what we did. But it's allowing yourself to be vulnerable again and telling that person your testimony and sharing the gospel with them. Because that's the only thing that's gonna last. That's your 60 seconds. Like it. I love it. I loved your answer. Last scenario. All right. We're at a gas pump. Somehow you found yourself there. You've got three minutes to live. Ooh. And it's just the way it is. You just got three minutes to live and you know that. And you just finished chatting with me and you're like, you're not hurting or anything, but you know you have three minutes to live. Obviously very hypothetical, by the way. Someone's calling 911 right now. Or giving the kiss of life. And trust me, I'm looking across the table, no kiss of life coming from me. But anyway, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But you got three minutes to live. Three minutes, man. And you know you're gonna pass in peace, but you're definitely never gonna see anyone else again. I'm the last person you see alive. What are you gonna tell me? I'd tell my testimony, most definitely. But then I would always also tell them, that's a tough one. This is a real tough one. Don't live in the past. And just keep going forward after I tell them my testimony. And don't worry about things that have happened in the past because you can't take that with you. Your worry is tomorrow. You know, you have this one life and you have that one day. And I think that, especially, you know, you had three minutes to live, if you could just change that one person or just impact them or plant a seed into them, just that one person could change the whole world. I mean, they can impact a nation. So I think telling them not to worry about having regrets in life and moving forward and then sharing your testimony and the gospel with them. I think that would be the most impactful to, you know, a stranger. You know, now if it was a person you knew, it would be a different answer because you would know what to say to that person because you know their personality traits and their, you know, their thoughts and those types of things. So I think it would be a little bit different with a personal person or a family member. But most definitely, you would have to share your testimony because that's why we're here on earth as Christians. That's right. I love it. Yeah. Those are odd series of questions, but notice how your answer changed, which it should. Yeah. From more of a broad perspective to something a little narrower. Yeah. And then at the end, really to the thing that mattered most. Obviously going through what I'm going through right now, I can't help it. I'm always in that three-minute moment. Yeah. It's always like, well, this matters most. Tyler and I just came away from a small group study this morning with a bunch of men. We're studying about God, Jesus, our relationship with him. And it's like any question that comes up, my answer is always the same. It's like, you got. To know Jesus, you got to put yourself in the perspective of being in a heavenly realm with him one day, and do you know your Lord and Savior? You know, and I have a real tough time Tyler coming away from that three minute moment right now. Maybe that's telling me something. Maybe it's important that we all really have that perspective. I think that's a good place to live actually, because because you're, you're going through your checklist of what you maybe thought was important that was never important. You know, in the scheme of eternity, versus just this life. Yeah, I sent you that quote from Lynne Ravenhill. This life is a dressing room for eternity. All your achievements, all your things that you you do in this life, business wise, you know, those are great and those are great things to do and they're fun. You live this life, you have to do those types of things, but living intentionally, day to day, is more impactful than having fifty years of just saying random things to people, or just going through life thinking your stuff is more important, like a house or car, you know, those types of you know worldly things that we can achieve through business success. The most impactful thing is the people that we're around and really caring. You know, really caring to listen to their story and understand what they're going through in their struggle. You know, that's where you can lift those people up, but then also you can be impactful with intentional words versus talking about sports or whatever topic you know could be a topic, and but that person might not know that you have three minutes to live or, or living in that perspective of life, and you lost the opportunity to say something impactful that could get them to critically think and meditate on their personal life. Right, so that they can grow. I think that's the most important thing, and I think that's a great place to be. That's awesome. Great place to live. Yeah, this is this is good. Anyway, that's cool. Yeah, we'll cut it right there. But that was fun. Yeah, so that's it, brother. Signing out. Peace out, dude. What day is it today by the way? What day on Wednesday, October twenty eighth. Wednesday, October twenty eighth. Signing out. Bye.