Special Needs Education, Experiences Of A Black British Parent (2)

The mother discusses her experiences navigating the education system for her child with special needs. She faced challenges with unhelpful SENCOs, difficulties getting a diagnosis, and ineffective support from social services. She had to advocate for herself and seek legal knowledge to ensure her child's rights were upheld. She recommends a parent advocacy course, which helped her improve her interactions with the school and gain a better understanding of her child's needs. She formed her own parent group for support. Her efforts have made a positive impact on her child's education. Today I'm going to be having a brief discussion with a mother whose child's special needs and what her lived experiences are in the education system, what are some of the challenges she finds, the support that may be necessary, and what she thinks of that, and any message she has for other parents, particularly parents from black backgrounds in the United Kingdom. So I'm going to let her introduce herself, and then we have... I'm a deaf parent. And how old is your child? They're my first, second, and we have an educational program. And are they all in the education system? They're both going through secondary. Okay. And as you know, it's usually a challenge to even identify what are the issues. What was the process for the experience of hearing impairment? The process for my people, they weren't very... I didn't find them very helpful. I had to write literally from 2011 a unit application to town, and the SENCO I found was not very helpful. So I got an EHC, which is called an Education Healthcare Plan, without diagnosing it. Then I applied for my son to get diagnosed, and lost the paper. Then I did another one in 2015, and the SENCO, which was a new SENCO, which was writing completely different marks from the marks I was writing, so we weren't using. I also found that they had a high turnover of SENCOs when I suffered. Well, I was trying to get my son diagnosed, and I noticed that they were still doing their tactics, and they kept on calling in social services. But when social services got involved, they never told social services. I was a deaf parent, and my child had intelligent behavior issues. All that, I was suspecting my child was autistic. So when social services got involved, and I explained to them that I needed my son diagnosed, I also needed help with accommodation, because I didn't want to mess with the kids. I didn't find them very helpful. They were just very nosy. There was only one social worker that I originally helped, and she was very supportive, but she was a step down from social services. She was a great solution. She helped me with the EHC plan process. Okay, and the justification for calling in social services was behavior issues, which obviously I didn't know. No, they actually did a slight thing. If you do an organization called Corner House, or you fill out a form, the whole time you're there, they're actually watching your child, and that they did a referral to social services. They must have done a referral first of all, because I'm going to have to use their service for a long time. I've already been in a relationship with both of those, and she gave me that. So that was in the middle of 2017. By June, I think it was around June the 16th, I think it was, social services called again. They were pleased to have me on the referral, and I asked them to make sure that social services would be sent over the phone. I didn't see them straight away. The weekend when I got back to school one day, and there was social services and the police were at the school, the social services now got involved, and there was a white social worker, who was quite aggressive, quite rude, so he called the police, who was a black social worker, who couldn't be at any school like that. My son's school wasn't necessary. They then started saying that they couldn't let me have my children, so I told them that they should help me with housing. They did it. They sent me to some child protection investigation. When they did the investigation, we went to the panel, and in front of the children and youth plan, the children and youth plan went on from November 2018 to July 2018, and I never got anything out of it. So they said they didn't have interest in what was agreed, and they were going to help with the housing. They were meant to help me with the process of getting my son diagnosed. I had to do all of that myself, and I'm still fighting housing right now, after having all this help from social care people in my business over the years. So there's a whole range of intersectional issues. Actually, from one of the reports I read about the UN, that's a similar experience. But in terms of education itself, so when you find a clinical diagnosis, I think... My son, for me, was quite lethargic, he's ended up now, they got rid of him. They had a new lady come last year, she didn't stay for long, she started in January, and by October she was gone. They've got a new set going right now. What the problem is, they're not actually implementing the EHT plan. If they were implementing the EHT plan, there wouldn't be a problem. And for me, SDM parents, irrespective of colour, they need to know the content of their child's EHT test, and they need to know it in terms of law. Because it's a legally binding document, and by law, the school, and any provision, their child's test are meant to be implemented. And just as a general comment, just to add to that, all the legal requirements, whether it's the Education Act, the Sustainable Co-operative Equality Act, if you remember that, or the Convention on the Rights of the Child, actually specify, just in for all, the parent, where the parent has to, not just as a, you know, box-ticket. Yeah, but that's what they basically do. Emphasise. So, after the diagnosis, and you're sort of, having all the information given, how did you overcome to get to the point where it's getting what it needs to? Well, I started having to do emails, quoting the law. I also sought some advocates. Then I started, I happened to, I got to a level where I didn't actually need the advocate service, because obviously I started to now read about legislation and deal with it myself. As a result of me having to advocate for myself, I now started advocating for other parents. Right. I've now gone on to do an advocacy course. Okay. Which I've now passed. And where was that? I did it online. Okay. So, that teaches you, now, to tribunals, to understand the content of child support, the Chinese child support. Also, to understand how to gather information, the bandwidth given for the tribunal. And I've also learned about mentions of SOAR, which is a subject access request, finding out information about why their normal child's not getting the support they need. And also, provision map, that's another thing that FDA parents need to ask for. If the provision map, or they call it map provision, this shows the budget of what they're doing for a child in terms of provision. Can you say that again for people who might not be familiar with that? Provision. And, what does it... It shows you what you're doing for your child in terms of provision. A breakdown, a much more clear breakdown, so you can see what they've actually been doing for us. And, is that a course that you would recommend for other parents? So, the parent advocacy course is a good course. I think it's a good course. It's also good just for you as a parent, just in terms of sourcing knowledge, if you want to do advocacy work, yeah, and just to check that you've really done, when you're putting this to practice, just to check that you are doing it in the correct protocol. So, I think that's why I did it, because I've been doing it for quite a long time now. It helps quite a few FDA parents out. Does that involve any costs, or the course? The course, yeah, the course is £299. Something like that, with what? Pay off an instalment. Okay. I don't think so. I don't think so. Well, I did the course before, I started advocating before I did the course. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Did that make any difference in terms of how school organisations interact with you, respond to you, once you were now to where you had further training, quality of education as well? Did that make any difference in terms of how they interact with you, respond to your requests? In terms of my... So, from the time that you started actually practically and forcefully advocating for yourself, and got more and more content, did that make any difference in terms of how the school responded? The school, to be fair, were very wary of me. I was one of the parents, actually, I joined the same parent group last year, and I was quite shocked, out of about 30 people, I think I was the only parent that had the annual review every year. Wow. Some of them were crying, they hadn't had the annual review for like five years, but then their child didn't even get back to the school. It should be a statutory requirement. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, and I think that, when I asked to join the group, the centre was very hesitant. I didn't understand why, so I joined the group, and I did not really like the same parent group, to be fair, because they've got a school governor in there, so it's still part of the school. So not a very safe environment. The other same parents still stayed, but I personally came out, and formed my own group, and when the same parent governor, the guy who's the same parent governor, she was now trying to be nice to me, and said, oh, would you like to join their group? And I was like, no. And she told me to just open my own group. Okay. And she got upset about that, and she was the school governor already, the one, and she was a Kensington and Chelsea resident, and not all the parents are from that borough. Okay. Some of the parents are across the borough, like myself. Yeah. So I didn't feel that she was going to represent all parents. So you then, obviously, you became actively involved, and what practical difference has it made now? Well, with me, I feel that my input and knowing my stuff, it has made a difference in terms of my son, how I react with my son, LSS, I feel it's all going now, I would say. She's got a greater understanding. If she's not sure how to work with my son, she emails me, I've just done that, you know, like, she's working in collaboration as well. I felt that the EP that did my son... Education Cycle, someone might know it. Yeah. He was very helpful in terms of the provision he put in, he backed up what Cam said, which is children have to learn in-house and house services. Yeah. And he was just saying that, at school level, at one time, there was a time when I didn't really get on the previous level, he was trying to avoid my emails, because he didn't want to commit himself, but I didn't understand why he was avoiding my emails, until I joined the parent sent group last year, and found out that this guy had got to do annual reviews, I was quite shocked. I just thought annual reviews were standards of rank, everybody did that. Yeah, because you need to know where you're going, and how to improve. So I do think, as an SPN parent, it's very good to have SPN parent groups at schools, so you see who the sent groups are, from other sent parents, and know what's going on at school, because a lot of them, what I find with SPN parents, it tends to be isolated. Yes. I think that that strengthens the numbers, there's a group of SPN parents, if you don't know, it might be another SPN parent, that might know something, you learn from each other. I think SPN parent groups, WhatsApp groups, I think they're very much needed in schools, so that parents can find out what's going on, what services are out there. And you said, your child goes to mainstream school? Yeah. So there's been this debate, especially among parents, I've seen online, and sometimes in relation, mainstream versus special ed, what's your view? My view, I'm not really one for special ed schools, but it's saying that my son went to school part-time, in 2021, he went part-time to school, July 2021, July 2021, up until October 2021, and still to this day, my son didn't like the special ed school, but I liked it in one way for my son, that he got the shock back, and he was much more appreciative of the LSA, and the people that he worked with, when he went to the special ed school, when he went back, he now started to be more respectful towards his LSA, so in that respect, I did like it. Why didn't you like it? He thought that he didn't fit in there, but, and he also didn't like the fact that the doors were closed, you know, that it makes you feel that you're free, but you know, in special ed schools, I don't know about all special ed schools, but this one, you have to use the front to open doors, you kind of feel a bit clustered, don't you? Yes, and that kind of triggers some... Yeah, and I think maybe he just missed his friends, you know, because that's the way his environment compared to... And why don't you like special ed? I don't like special ed schools, because I don't think they help children academically, they don't look at the academic side of things, I'm a bit biased, I'm a parent that likes my child's education, like, academically, so I find that they also sometimes don't make... See, in mainstream schools, there's rules, isn't there? They have boundaries, so I find that special ed schools nurture, as opposed to a mainstream school where, you know, you have a rule, they have to make more adjustments, but they still have rules, like, you have to line up in a queue, you know, like, certain things I didn't like... And do you think it will flourish more in a special ed school, or a mainstream school? It depends on the child as well, because some children do need to be in a special ed school, it depends on the child, it depends on... It depends on the need as well. It depends on the need as well. For me, I don't feel that my child needs to be in a special ed school, so I'm against my child. In saying that, some parents feel that their child didn't do well in a special ed school, and it's down to the parents, it's down to their need. I personally feel that. For me, I wanted to say, how can I put this, like, for me, I can say a parent, yes, my son is a computer. I felt that my son needed more help in making social interactions. My son is a very, very quiet person, and he doesn't, he's not going to make friends quickly, he has to, he has to kind of like, be more sociable, and he has to make friends. My son is a good kid, he's not the person that will go and start talking to anyone. Right, so he needs an incentive. Yeah, so, I feel that, being in a special ed school for my son, I felt that he couldn't cope because he used to do academic, so he found the work too easy. Wow, wow, that's good. I'm not going to lie, my son is not one, he's not one, one that can bring him back to his comfort. In the special ed school, when he went there, he asked the school for more work, so the LSA called me up, and she was laughing, and she said, I don't know if it's, he's changed his mood, he's much more polite now, more acceptable, and I just thought she was really laughing down the phone. Wow, and yeah, so, so maybe, because they, I don't know, they understand the triggers, the complexities of the needs they have, so maybe they are slightly more difficult. Yeah, but also as well, in special ed schools, they do do more, they have more time in terms of speech and language, they have those things on site, where mainstreams, even though it's implemented on the EAC plan, they don't do everything they say they put on the EAC plan, like zone regulation, emotional literacy, and special ed schools will try to put them in that service. And you said when they have part time, when they have part time, how does that work? So, some days he was going, so like say Tuesday, he went all day to school, and then Wednesday, and then Friday, he went to session, like three days a week, maybe two days a week. And was that a try of phase? No, just, just because, St Cohen, my son, and me, we were getting on with it, so, we did a little break from each other, and local authorities suggested that. Like that, OK. Before we sort of wrap up, the, obviously, a lot of the challenges, basically, special ed school, and parents, sort of, they tend to affect generally, but, however, as almost in every area of life, there's a disproportionate impact on black, as a minority school. What was your, what was your view on that, how it still affects black? I think it affects black, black parents, because as well, some black parents don't like, writing emails, that's something as well, I think people should get used to writing, I advise you to read a lot, try and do courses, to educate yourself, because, when you, once you get there, it's like a battlefield, you don't know what you're doing, there's some professionals that will try and help you, and there's some professionals that just outrightly, will give you bad advice, that does not suit your child's needs, doesn't have a clue about your child, and your child will suffer as a result of lack of knowledge. If you don't know about your child, your child will stay in places where they shouldn't really be, this is just my opinion as an SDM parent, and this is just not even about, What is specific to the black experience? For me, the black experience, I find with professionals, I find they become quite rude, yeah, and then, when they're not asking, because they don't like what they're saying, oh, do you know who you're talking to? I think I've been aggressive. Yeah, the French, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so another thing I don't like is, not because you're speaking in Polish, or well mannered, as they say, but you're being rude, I think that's more insulting, and patronising, yeah, and I find with a lot of professionals, when they don't like what you're telling, they'll be like, oh, I had a Zoom meeting one time, with one of my sons, just showing funny enough, and she got her colleagues to come in, and they were trying to be rude, and she didn't tell her colleagues all the stories, so when they were black, they would get involved, and some of them didn't know what was going on, and then I put it out there, and said, listen, when we had the last annual review, this is not what you said, people, professionals, this lady didn't say that at the last meeting, yeah, we're saying something completely different now, and I've asked you on numerous occasions, for the time they've offset my son's LSA, and I'm still waiting, and I did a meeting with one of my friends, so, when she was trying to lie, my friend had sat the last meeting, she said, I have seen the email, so, what have you got to say? and she was like, I think now, we need to come to a close, we need to come to a close, and from that day, she's just been avoiding my email, so I've asked for a massage, I should be getting that any day now, and is there, is there, an option to change professionally? well, the professionals, now, they need to get training, for conscious bias as well, and why I say this, there was a time last, 2021, my international, my son's school, and they have a sheet, to say something, that terminology, that blackness, now, my son doesn't talk like that, I know exactly how my son insults, so, as soon as they said it, I said to the teacher, I don't mean funny, I don't like that idea, that my son's being racially profiled, yeah, and I said, my son wouldn't say that, so, this one I'm challenging, on that ground, so, when they had the parents meeting, that teacher, eventually, that, my son got something, and he didn't say the whole story, it's then, because I started, oh, I can copy you, I like, right, right, I said, I said, I'm a British, that's my constitutional right, I can copy you, I like, I said, to me, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're 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